Tillitonse - A Transformational Journey Together

Do you ever wish that you could go back and begin afresh with someone? I just did…WOW! What an energising experience! I have known Shankar for over a dozen years as a colleague. While we did not work on the same projects, our paths intersected ever so often providing multiple opportunities to get to know each other. I did…somewhat…..Shankar has recently taken over as the Managing Director of an exciting new venture. I was very pleasantly surprised when he reached out and asked if I would be interested to support him as a coach/mentor.  In our first meeting, he suggested that we walk and talk. And, so began this new journey. As we paced on a cool winter morning in Delhi, the layers started peeling. And in that hour, I really got to really KNOW Shankar!  Curiosity and empathy were the foundations from which the questions emerged and I was amazed to learn about so much about what makes him tick. Pieces of the jigsaw fell into place and my admiration for his im...

The first time you see Hari, you can’t miss the prominent ‘Namam’ on his forehead. It’s tempting to categorize him as a proud Brahmin with all the usual behavioral traits one associates with someone who displays his ‘religion’ so prominently….. A decade ago, we had worked together and while I can’t say I knew him very well, I was always impressed with his sincerity and willingness to learn. So, a few weeks ago, I was delighted  when he asked if I would coach him. (He is looking ahead two years down the road when his current project ends and wants to invest the time now to better prepare himself for the future – and this investment includes doing an internal deep dive to figure out what he truly wishes to focus on and what capabilities he could start working on now to get there!) Coaching conversations often tend to have a life of their own. There is something magical that happens when two people are truly connected. This journey of co-creation is exhilarating and...

“WE INVENTED TIME…AND THEN BECAME A SLAVE TO IT…..” Can’t recall where I heard this a few weeks ago, but it stayed with me ever since. Indeed, its quite something how we tie ourselves down feeling the pressure of time! Most of it ‘self-imposed.’ For instance, I found myself criticizing a young person who had recently graduated from college and in my opinion did not seem in a ‘hurry’ to get a job or move on with life. Then, a thought occurred. If this person had taken a year off before his final year in college to explore or do anything else, I would have lauded him. So, what has changed – just a year…..actually, it’s not even that. It was the ‘event in time’ – the graduation – that made me so dramatically change my mind. Hmm…….So today, I told myself, to hell with ‘time.’ Or rather, to hell with being tied down by a plan, a routine etc…..I spent this morning with one of my oldest and closest friends – Anita, who was visiting from the US. Anita and I were classmates in sch...

“Something falls away, Sanjay” whispered one of my teachers Sampoorna, a few days in her greetings to me a few days ago on the 25 th anniversary of my 25 th b’day.   Something falls away…..As I read this, I indeed did feel a shift. Did I imagine it? Maybe. But’s a few days later….and Rumi’s quote about the field beyond, where there are no judgments, is becoming increasing alive.   As I work increasingly one on one with people as a transformational coach and have this wonderful opportunity to share their very personal fears and aspirations, their regrets and joys, their barriers and triggers, the profundity of this line is increasingly sinking in.   Ancient philosophies capture this so well too….there are neither wrong or right actions….there are just actions and consequences. It is our labeling that confers moralistic judgments that are all too transient and fickle ! -->

An accountant of the heart' The Loneliest Job in the World by Tony Hoagland As soon as you begin to ask the question, Who loves me?, you are completely screwed, because the next question is How Much?, and then it is hundreds of hours later, and you are still hunched over your flowcharts and abacus, trying to decide if you have gotten enough. This is the loneliest job in the world: to be an accountant of the heart. It is late at night. You are by yourself, and all around you, you can hear the sounds of people moving in and out of love, pushing the turnstiles, putting their coins in the slots, paying the price which is asked, which constantly changes. No one knows why.

“FEELINGS ARE LIKE A RIVER….AND WE TRY TO PUT A RIVER INTO A BOX….’ ….. what a simple and hard hitting line from the book entitled ‘The Lazy Guru.” The author goes further in stating that we expend a lot of energy in keeping these boxes shut. Why? Once again, the old culprit - to look good (both to ourselves and to others). We have been taught that emotions are messy and have no place when intelligent people make decisions. ‘Don’t be emotional’ is the oft-repeated statement. How silly! I have learnt about the functioning of the brain from both a Western clinical perspective and also from Indian Philosophy. It’s very clear that emotions play a huge role in our decision making process. Therefore the question that really resonates with me is – “How can we be smart about harnessing the power of our emotions to help achieve what we want?” and not about negating emotions. My journey this past year as an Emotional Intelligence Coach and Works...

“WHAT’S IN THE WAY, IS THE WAY…” …..said one of my trainers during the one year Coaching for Transformation program that I thoroughly enjoyed in 2016. The profundity and simplicity of this line floored me.   Our growth lies in acknowledging and then tackling the road block…. For instance, I tend to avoid ‘hard’ conversations. While this attitude has undoubtedly helped serve me in many ways over the years, there is no doubt that it has also led to some strong relationship blocks. For instance, when I am upset with what someone close to me has said, rather than clarify/resolve the issue, I would more often than not, just avoid the topic/person for while and hope that the situation would blow over. Unfortunately, there has rarely been a clean and proper resolution,   and hence emotions have tended to linger and fester. Coming to terms with these ‘blocks’ is indeed an important, nay pivotal step in resolution, personal grow...