Rikhia Ashram Visit, Oct 2014- Experiences and Lessons Learned
I visited the Rikhia Ashram of the Bihar School of Yoga last week. A magnificent trip. This trip had many first - the first trip on my own without the guidance of Shantanu, my yoga teacher; the first course I was attending there and yes, the first really long trip (others had been for a few days only). Many wonderful lessons learned in addition to a really tranquil experience. This post captures some key lessons learn
Lesson Learned #1: BE KIND
The simplest things are often the most profound - In an unscheduled conversation with one of the many 'normal' residents of the Ashrams - I picked up a gem.
A short poem in Hindi which roughly translates as "Be Kind, Speak the truth, but don't speak the truth unkindly."
For many years, I have thought that being right (in my eyes) trumped being kind. Over the past few years, I have questioned this. Now, the deal is done. As a wise person said "today I bent the truth to be kind...I have no regrets...for I am far surer of what is kind than of what is true."
Lesson #2: Remember Why You Started is Important When The Going Gets Tough
Earlier this year I had decided that I wanted to spend an
extended duration at the Ashram without the support of friends from Chennai.
The objective was to to allow myself to be cut off from the world and focus
internally. So, when I saw a10 day course being offered in the Ashram, I
decided to sign up.
Three days into the course, I found myself critiquing the
teacher and also questioning whether this course is the right one for me….the
thought of cutting short the trip and going back home surface. Yup, the will
was flagging.
But then, I was reminded why I had decided to make this trip
in the first place. It was never about the workshop at all, but rather just
spending time in the ashram. Once I had this reset, I started relaxing and even
started enjoying the course.
It’s amazing how the conditioned mind can play tricks with
you. Keeping a CONSTANT eye on WHY you started in the first place is key to keep
you going.
Lesson #3: Look Within Before Judging Others
This all too familiar pearl of wisdom was brought home in
very practical ways. One example:
On day 3 of a 11 day course, I was critiquing the teacher as not being
knowledgeable or inspiring enough. I was mentioning this to Shantanu, my
teacher who was on a short visit to the ashram. He politely asked me a question
–“what is more important – how good the teacher is or the attitude of the
student?” He then went on to quote a few examples of how even the greatest of
teachers had only a handful of great students.
I thought about it, and yup, the point came home. Indeed,
there was much to learn from this teacher, if I had the right attitude. A day
later, I went back with a renewed openness and sure enough found myself
scribbling down pearls of wisdom furiously in my notebook. Indeed, there was
much to learn from every teacher, but I needed to be open!
There were many other opportunities to hold a mirror to
myself and see how I could do better before ‘blaming/reacting’ to others.
Extended ashrams visits do indeed provide a wonderful opportunity to
introspect, learn and practice good behaviors that we can adopt in our lives
outside!
Lesson #4 - Getting the Right Support -
On Sunday, in a wonderful discussion with Sangita, Shantala, Raj, Babita and Archana, we talked the importance of spending
time with like minded people who can support us when we are working on hard
challenges – like changing ourselves.
A simple but powerful incident at the Ashram endorses this very powerful
lesson.
As noted earlier, I was considering leaving the ashram on
day 4 of a 12 day visit. And then, almost like the universe conspired to
support me, my closest two fellow travelers (Shantanu and Divya) showed up at
the Ashram for a few days. These two have been my constant companions over the
past 2+ years and the open, free flowing conversations that we have had has
become an integral and much cherished part of my life. Just seeing them and
then very briefly discussing my dilemma was just the tonic I needed to get back
on track. Yep, ‘satsang’ (developing the right associations) is indeed key for undertaking
any challenge, particularly the journey within.
Lesson #5 - 12 day Ashram Visit
Watch Out For The
Croc Inside Us!!!
One
of the most memorable things I learnt during my ashram stay was about how we
have a deadly crocodile inside each of us. This croc is a metaphor for the
emotional patterns that lie under our surface that emerge all of a sudden in an
unexpected manner, grab, and take us below the surface where we slowly
suffocate.
We
all have had moments, when we suddenly feel low (or sometimes high) for no
reason. We become totally
identified with this emotion. More often than not, a sense of melancholy sets
in without any apparent rhyme or reason and STAYS with us for a looonnnggg
time. Yup, the ‘vasnanas’ (the
present consciousness formed from past perceptions) often engulf us
unexpectedly. This concept is beautifully explained when understanding the
‘Chakras’ (energy vortexes within us as explained by ancient Hindu/Buddhist
teachings).
And akin to
extricating oneself from the jaws of a crocodile, getting out of this all-consuming
state requires considerable struggle! So, we have got to be on the constant
look-out for the croc within each of us and be prepared to respond quickly when
it emerges! Don’t believe it is a coincidence that I am writing this now, as I
have been it’s jaws all day. At 8pm, I am willing to recognize and accept it.
Now, to get out of it quickly….
Lesson #6- 2 Rotis, 2 Dhotis
One of the wonderful lessons one truly learns during an
extended stay in an Ashram is how little we really need to live well. The
Ashram resident’s chant is ‘Two Rotis and Two Dhotis.” I experienced and
rejoiced in just going through 12 days with 3 kurtas, 2 pyjamas, 2 t-shirts, a
pair of shorts, and sandals. No one cared about what you wore and soon you did
not care about it either. The daily ritual of washing my clothes and finding it
dry after a couple of hours on the clothes line was strangely liberating! And typically one 10 min phone call to Lata & Sanjana per day. No internet!
My simple 10 feet x 8 feet room actually felt large as I had
it all to myself! The food was simple and its amazing what a little physical
labour (Karma Yoga) can do to make you dig into and relish rice, pasta and even
noodles (let alone Indian food) with your bare hands. And now to the challenge back home– keeping things simple
and rejoicing in simple pleasures!
Lesson #7 - 12 day
Ashram Visit
YOU
ARE SPECIAL - TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
My post on being kind over being right has prompted quite a
few responses sent to me personally. Below is one response (which was brought
up by others as well) and my reply follows:
Hi Sanjay,
While I agree it’s important to be nice than being right, I
am unable to practice it for myself. Am facing an internal conflict for many
months now. I am certainly not happy about my situation, however am unable to
be nice. I am stuck up on being right! If I let go then I will not be standing
up for myself. I don't think even letting go will make me happy. Its about
someone being really rude to me and I am standing up for myself alone. Atleast
I should respect myself isnt it?
My response:
Of course you should respect yourself. We have to use our
intellect so that we can indeed make this sort of distinction (‘Viveka ‘ in
Sanskrit). Heard a lovely story recently at the Ashram:
A wandering sage was leaving a village and was cautioned by
the villagers not to go through the forest as there was a deadly snake that
killed anyone who entered. He listened politely but decided to do just that as
the other route was much longer. Sure enough the snake saw him and came to bite
him. The snake was surprised to find that the sage was not scared of him. He
asked the sage why he was not concerned about his life. A conversation ensued
and the snake was very impressed with the sage. He asked the sage "How can
I improve and become better?" The sage replied that the snake would have
to do the following to begin with:
A. Stop biting people
B. Do 10 minutes of meditation every day
The snake started practicing these immediately. He loved the
meditation and soon spent hours on a rock enjoying the sun-light and
meditating. Weeks passed. One day a few villagers noticed that the snake seemed
to be asleep out in the open and decided that this was their chance to get rid
of this deadly creature. So they hit the snake with sticks. The snake did not
attack them since he had given his word to the sage. Badly bruised he just
about managed to get back into his hole.
A few days later, the sage returned and called out to the
snake. The snake told the sage what happened and apologized for being unable to
come out of his hole as he was still injured. The sage then said “I asked you
not to bite, but what stopped you from hissing?”
END OF STORY
So, indeed look after yourself and make sure you are not
compromising yourself. Yes, we have to be kind, but that does not mean that we
let others injure us in any way. Hope this helps. I am sure other wiser souls
will provide useful comments…
Lesson #8 - 12 day
Ashram Visit
PUT YOUR EGO ON A
DIET
During this ashram visit, we had two rounds of ‘Karma Yoga’
(self-less service) every day. For most of the 12 days , I was assigned to
toilet cleaning duties. First, it was the toilets of the dormitory I lived in
and but soon it became other dorms as well!!!
If cleaning the toilets was not bad enough, being supervised
by ‘kids’ almost 20 year younger was initially a bitter pill to swallow. So,
both the body and mind were tested! Yup, I did cringe at first, but then, it
became a great place to practice what one learnt in class – “I am not the body,
I am not the mind…”
And soon, a routine set in and this work did not seem any
different from any other task. One just followed instructions from anyone to do
anything. An extended ashram stay is indeed a great place to put one’s ego on a
diet!!! Now back home, the challenge is keep this sentiment going both at work and
beyond.
Lesson #9: 12 day
Ashram Visit
Seize any moment to watch your breath – the
humble bucket & mug
The easiest way to be aware of each moment is to simply
watch the breath. Just watching the breath as one inhales and exhales is a
deeply relaxing process. The benefits of being able to do this over a period of
time are multifold. This simple practice allows one to be truly alive to every
moment.
But, while this is relatively easy while sitting quietly, it
is really quite a challenge to do this regularly ‘off the mat.’ The trick is to
incorporate awareness of breath into other routine tasks. This time at the
ashram, an interesting opportunity to practice this emerged. We take cold-water
baths using a bucket and mug there. Someone told me that if I were to exhale
while putting water on me, I would feel the cold less. I did this practice in
the ashram.
On my return home, I got a bucket and mug and continued this
practice. Two days later, a thought occurred. If I inhale while dipping the mug
into the bucket, and exhaled when putting the water on my body, then I can
quite nicely watch my breath while taking a bath. Soon, I was able to establish
a nice rhythm including the ‘pause’ between inhale-exhale-inhale. What a magnificent opportunity to combine
breath awareness, flexibility (crouching while bathing), conserve water and
finally mind over body (no more hot water). GRATITUDE!
Lesson #10: 12 day
Ashram Visit
Disconnect to Unearth
and Resolve– What a Relief!
We all know the importance of disconnecting from the
external world ever so often, but it’s hard, nay impossible to do so in our
regular lives. 12 days minus the internet, work, friends and family, a
minute/day call with wife and kid, not having to think about food, clothing, traffic
or other distractions while living in a positively charged environment of an
ashram can indeed work wonders. The lack of external stimuli allows the mind to
rest and submerged thoughts and emotions to rise to the surface and get
resolved. I had read about this, but when it happened, not once but twice, I
felt lighter and certainly relieved.
One particular inter-personal issue has been bothering me
for the past couple of years. Midway during my trip, I dreamt about this issue
and was initially disturbed. But simultaneously something else happened which
is both hard to recollect and describe clearly. The closest I can say is that I
felt as if this issue was an air bubble which I could see making its way up to
the surface of water and there gently dissolving. I found myself telling myself
“okay dude, stop kidding yourself, this is what the reality (of this issue) is.
” I could not no longer bullshit myself about this issue (which I had been).
Indeed, there was a sense of clarity and finality that then resulted in feeling
lighter as I awoke.
I am not sure if this makes sense. But, since then, this
particular issue is no longer a shadow on this relationship. I had another
experience where another more deep-rooted issue also came up twice, the second
time with some resolution. I look forward to it too being finally resolved
hopefully soon or during my next trip.
Yep, the calm and positive external vibrations can indeed
shake things up internally and bring relief!
Lesson #11: 12 day
Ashram Visit
After so many visits to the Ashrams of the BSY, many books,
hours of conversation with fellow travelers, this simple truth finally dawned
on me during this trip. To be really at peace, we have to invest both in
practices that give us internal balance but also in practices that allow us to
be in harmony with the world outside!
Yup, having a regular schedule of Asanas (physical
postures), Pranayama (breath awareness/management) and Pratyahara (preparatory
steps towards meditation) in addition to reading, listening and living a
disciplined life are absolutely crucial to gain internal harmony. But while
these are necessary conditions, they are no ways sufficient to consistently be
at peace.
These practices must be supplemented by a similar
disciplined approach in being in harmony with the world outside. It is here
that the practices of Karma Yoga (self-less work) and Bhakti Yoga (emotional
empathy with others) are key. Basically, there is no point in simply looking
after one-self through internal practices. To be at consistent peace, we simply
have to invest in practices that get our body, mind and spirit in alignment on
one hand and for us to be aligned with the larger universe on the other.
Far too many of us spend too much time on the former,
working on ourselves, without realizing that by giving and connecting with the
world outside, we are not doing anyone else a favour, but simply aligning
ourselves to be better placed to be at peace. The latter practices are simply,
yet beautifully captured by ‘serve, love and give.’
If I can make this one major change in my life – to give
more, I am sure a happier future awaits.
Lesson 12 – 12 Day
Ashram Visit
Frequent Immersion is Key in the Journey
Within – “I’ll be back (often”)!
Over the past 3 three years, I have gone back to the Ashrams
of the Bihar School of Yoga (BSY) about once every six months. It takes a day’s
travel each way from home and hence typical trips are no shorter than a week.
Man, am I fortunate that I can make this time, have the resources and the
support of Lata to make these
trips. Gratitude!
The last three years have been hugely transformative. The
consistent immersion into the integrated practices of yoga as recommended by
the BSY over this period has resulted in a life changing experience for me. Two
important ingredients have been key to ensuring continued focus. The first is
the company of like-minded fellow travelers as outlined earlier. The second has
undoubtedly been the frequent trips to the BSY ashrams!
Every visit is special as one picks up so many subtle things
both about oneself and also about positive role models and practices simply by
spending time there. Shantanu (my teacher) kept telling me – ‘come to the
Ashram to grow.’ I am now a firm advocate of this practice. You know, I had
always thought I would go back and study somewhere…little did I realize that in
a dark, unfrequented under belly of India would I find a magical stream which
would draw me repeatedly to taste its refreshing waters that not only cleansed
my thirst for knowledge, but allowed me to dive right in and emerge energized –
again and again!
Hari Om Tat Sat! (and so it is).
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