WHAT PLAYING BADMINTON TAUGHT ME ABOUT A DESTRUCTIVE TENDENCY WITHIN MYSELF...



A few weeks ago, I started playing this racket sport after many years. The strokes were rusty and the movements lethargic. We both seemed to be at the same level and the focus was long rallies where we were both focussed on SUPPORTING each other keeping the shuttle in play.

But after a few minutes, the coordination improved...and the desire to COMPETE kicked in for me. No longer was I satisfied in rallying, the focus shifted on WINNING each point.

Ah, very soon I was tired.....and so was my partner. For he too had moved into the aggressive mode reflecting my energies.

As I paused to catch a breath, the following insights emerged:

1. As long as we were supporting each other, we were able to play longer....but as soon as the spirit of competition kicked in, the camaraderie disappeared and we were both burnt out. I started to think about parallels in relationships between partners or colleagues at work.....

2. There was no doubt that the high of a point being won is indeed exhilarating. And competition indeed drove to me fight harder. But I wonder if I had lost the woods for the trees. The original motivation to play was to build stamina in an enjoyable manner. I wondered if the trade off was worth it.

3. Then I went deeper and asked myself - "Why did I gravitate to competition?" I think it is because that competition is the default mode for me and I suspect for many of us. We have been brought up with a scarcity mindset where the only way we can 'win' is if someone else looses.

Once these insights dawned, I was able to let go this need and after the water break we resumed our rallies. We continued playing for another 30 minutes and a quiet sense of satisfaction permeated.

Over the next few times we have played, we have tended to intentionally exorcise this need for competition. We play for about 45-60 minutes. About 10 minutes is devoted to smashing, deft placements and whatever else is needed to 'win.' The rest is focussed on working together to keep the shuttle in the air....

Yep, it feels good to good to break out of this prison and fly!

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