'Judging someone is a sign of laziness"



'Judging someone is a sign of laziness" 

About eight years ago, in a coach training program, I came across this insight that has stayed. In this email, I am highlighting the benefit of going a little deeper.

When we don't like what someone has said/done, a mental switch almost always goes off -

"...this is wrong, instead they should be doing it this (my) way." 

Indeed, the mind very quickly moves from "I don't like it" to "This is wrong." Once this door is opened,  then the mind moves even faster to a solution mode. And what is that? More often than not, it's a solution that appeals to oneself - they should be doing it this (my) way.

Sound familiar? 

And by following this path, there is immediately a wall that comes up between us and them. This, in turn, leads to a break in connection. So, what's the antidote? 

be curious!

Maybe the most insightful practice that I gained in my training as a coach, is to move from Judgement to Curiousity. So, more often than not, when I find myself disagreeing with someone, I try to understand their perspective either by placing myself in her/his shoes or often asking - I am curious, why do you say/think this? 

And being curious, does indeed build connection - I got this message from a distant family member who is now a cherished friend - "You were the only one who came to mind about discussing life because most people are either judgemental or have unsolicited advice for me."

FYI, this is a work in progress. Often, I too am judgemental. 

So, an invitation - how about flipping the 'curiousity switch today when you find yourself judging someone? 



This short two minute funny clip from a movie, further dwells on the benefits of being curious: https://youtu.be/i_FofLSherM?si=foglSl6um8GMBywQ

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