The “Ouch-That’s-Me” Club:

 


The “Ouch-That’s-Me” Club: 

Why Taking Feedback Feels Like Chewing Lemons (and Why We Should Do It Anyway)

Over the last few weeks, I’ve found myself biting my tongue in a few coaching conversations.
Quite an achievement, if I may say so. 🫢

Let me tell you about one of those moments (names changed, drama lovingly retained).

Meet Sam

Sam is a dynamic, successful leader in her late 40s.
She’s leading a bold new initiative that brings together several organizations. Think: coalition, collaboration, coordination — and yes, conflict.

In a recent coaching chat, Sam was visibly upset. One of her key partners had refused to take responsibility for mistakes made on his side.
He was defensive, finger-pointing, and doing the classic “blame everyone else but me” dance. 🕺

Sam’s frustration? Completely valid.
But as we talked, I asked her — gently at first:

“Is there any chance you might have made a mistake too?”

Cue: silence.
Then some elegant sidestepping.

I tried again. Still no entry.

Eventually, I had to turn up the volume on her inner mirror. 🪞
I didn’t ask just once — I circled back to the question a few times. Because sometimes the truth needs more than one knock at the door.

Finally, to her credit, Sam paused… and admitted that she too might have been doing exactly what she was accusing her partner of — refusing to accept her own role in the mess.

💥 Aha moment unlocked!

Why Feedback Feels Like Chewing Lemons 🍋

Here’s the thing:
Taking personal criticism — even when it’s constructive — can feel like chewing on a lemon.

Sour. Uncomfortable. Not what we ordered.

But if we slow down and take a closer look, we often find that:

👉 We’re all doing the best we can.
👉 We’re also all making mistakes. Regularly. Quietly. Gloriously.

The real skill isn’t in being perfect.
It’s in being open.

Open to learning.
Open to growing.
And sometimes open to hearing things that make us go:

“Ouch. That’s probably true.”

A 3-Minute Pause 🍿

If you’d like a short breather (and a smile), here’s a delightful 3-minute video on this very subject: [Link to your chosen video]

Two Gentle Questions for You: 

1️⃣ When was the last time someone gave you feedback — and your first reaction was to defend or deflect?
(Be honest. I’m not judging. I’ve done it too. Last week, actually.)

2️⃣ What might happen if you responded with curiosity instead of self-protection?
Just tried: “Hmm, tell me more…”


If this note stung a little — welcome to the club.
The “Ouch-That’s-Me” Club meets every week. 😄
We serve humble pie and a side of growth.

Mindfully,
🦋
Sanjay
HAPPINESS CATALYST | Leadership Coach
Helping Busy Professionals Lead More Fulfilling Lives
sanjaychaganti.com

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