Falling in Love with the US of A – One More Time…

June 17, 2012

Charikot Panaroram Resort, Charikot (up in the hills in Nepal)

Falling in Love with the US of A – One More Time…

In May 2012, Lata, Sanjana and I made a trip to the US. This was Sanjana’s first trip there…something we promised her that we would do when she turns 10 and it was Lata’s first trip there in 15 years. I had gone back to the US pretty much every year and while I had taken off a few days here and there, I never really had a real vacation there for a long time. In fact, Lata and I had been putting off visiting the US for many years  -“what’s the point going there when everyone is so busy?,” “what’s there to see?” “Been there done that” were some of the things we told ourselves.

But boy were we wrong! Over the past few years we had been to Spain and New Zealand, but this trip, showed us how, for us, quality time in the US was way way more enjoyable than anywhere else. Basically, the heady combination of spending time with the people we wanted to be combined with so many things to do (and so very easily) really resonated with us. So, thanks to Sanjana’s insistence on making this trip to the US, not to see Disneyland, but to spend time with her four month old nephew (she is a baby magnet), we had an opportunity to fall in love with the US all over again.

In this note, I am capturing a few things that caught my attention of life and living in the US of A.

1. Order for one, eat for two (easily): Man, I have seen “Super Size Me” and recall the portion size in the restaurants from past visits, but this time it really struck home. Lata and I quickly figured out that we should order only for one person and then split the order. Jeez, the food portions are BIG.

2. Ease of Living Well: It was quite amazing to see how easy it was to have a very comfortable and ‘rich’ life in many ways. The very easy access to nature (walking trails and lakes) is tremendous. In two places, our friends hired boats on lakes minutes away from their homes. We had a wonderful time on the water. Even in urban Seattle, there was a small trail next to our friend’s home that we went on.

In a small town in Tennessee, Sanjana was warmly welcomed to participate in the sports day of the local public school. After enjoying herself for over two hours, when I thanked the teacher and wished her adieu and wanted to take Sanjana back home, the teacher very sweetly said that she was more than welcome to stay “Oh she can stay we are going to have pizzas, then watch a movie and then play some more.” Simply would not have happened in India.

We went to a couple of outstanding museums, science centres and even a live fossil site 15 mins from my friend’s home. These easily accessible, high quality and very friendly opportunities makes living in the US so rich.

3. Local context drives conversations: Got a sneak peek into range and difference of conversations that people have across the US. The differences in the content of conversations over casual gatherings was quite telling. In the New Jersey area, the chats were often about the economy and the markets. In Wash DC, there was no going away from Romney, Fox, MSNBC and Obama. In small town Tennessee, the world outside was rarely discussed. In Seattle, the in-depth discussion of Steve Jobs book (I call it the “Book of Jobs’) was the flavour.  Quite interesting to see how the local context makes such a difference.

4. Children are indeed the centre of the universe: This probably is more true of Americans of Indian origin. Given the nature of life in the US, nuclear families spend a lot of their free time together. This is certainly more so than in India where kids and adults have others with whom they interact with each other. Hence, if kids are pretty much always around, the conversation we had were very kid friendly.  Lata and I were struck by this. In Madras, we have more interactions where only adults are around and the conversations are different. This is only natural as in Madras we have support systems that are easier to access.

5. Split the bill dude – No surprises here, but sometimes the obvious is worth repeating as it struck me yet again. At a work dinner and then again with dinner with some younger 2^nd cousins (who have grown up in the US), the bill was clearly split. In fact, some very specifically paid for exactly what they ate. Of course, our close families in New Jersey and friends from India (now living in the US), very very generously picked up the tab as would have been done in India. The cultural nuance playing out here is obvious, but yet interesting.

6. Making the call – Where it was the head waitress of the restaurant at the Holiday Inn in New Jersey or the waiter at the Thai restaurant in Seattle, the level of confidence, ease of interaction with the consumers and independent decision making this person enjoyed was a very refreshing change from other places in the world.

7. No Meat, No Problem – It’s amazing how easy it is to find vegetarian food across the US. Even in the smaller towns we drove through, we found that most menus had a vegetarian section.

8. Boating Burkhas – The changing social landscape was quite interesting to see. Lata and I had first visited Johnson City, a small town in Tennessee, way back in 1994. Since then, I had been back a couple of times in the 90s. In our first visit, when a few of us Indians entered into a local restaurant (there were three at that time), all the folk turned around to stare at us. We might have as well been from Mars! But, now JC boasts of multiple ethnic restaurants (including supposedly four Japanese) serving cuisines from all over the world. I have a vivid memory of watching a lady in a Burkha canoeing on Lake Wataga as her family (of Middle Eastern origin) picnicked on the shore (few more Burkhas)! Amazing to see this transformation.

9. 20 years later – even the smell had not changed – On the other hand, it seemed like time stood still in another place. I went back to Tufts University where I had done my Masters in Economics (or rather where Economics did me in…but that is another story for another time). I walked into Braker Hall, the building that houses the Economics Department. Nothing had changed in over 20 years. The classroom was exactly the same – same plastic chairs with the table you have to fold, the old heaters, the notice board with the same assortment of postings (phone numbers being replaced by email addresses) and amazingly, the place even smelt the same. Almost every teacher who had attempted to teach me in 1989 was still teaching there. I eavesdropped into one class and the drone of the professor was exactly the same, as the students sat languidly. I walked away with mixed emotions. Time indeed had stood still!

10. Shop till you drop – And finally, what can one say about the abundant choice, low prices and ease of access of shopping in the US? All three of us were blown away by how much we enjoyed shopping there. Sanjana typically hates coming to shops, but here she was wanting more! The variety of colours, sizes and designs all at affordable prices made us go gaga. Suffice to say, while we came to the US with two suitcases, we left with six!

There is no question in our minds as we were going through the trip and now almost two weeks after we have returned, that the land of opportunities is still the place to be for so many reasons. I have a much greater appreciation of how wonderful it is to live in the US. While Lata and I do not want to live there (or anywhere other than Madras, for that matter), we certainly came away with more empathy for those who choose it as their home. Indeed, we are coming back to the US for future vacations. So many of the people we care about are there and getting to see the sights with them makes it doubly special!