Not a Zero Sum Game After All....

An important part of my journey to become a better human being is to look inwards and identify negative traits that have shaped my life. Earlier today, I read a section from Louis Hay's book ('You can Heal Yourself) that intuitively resonated with me. As I read this piece again and subsequently had a discussion this morning with my 11 year daughter and her friend about being competitive, I found a connection that forced me to look inward. This piece is about looking at three key negative traits which have shaped me. I hope by acknowledging them, I can let them go (or at least begin the process).


Like most of us, the spirit of competition was inculcated very early on in life. I guess growing up in a upper middle class family, the way to 'progress' in life was to compete with one's peers. Actually, not just compete, but actually be ahead of them. As I shifted to a very academic oriented high school, I could not compete with my class mates on any of the subjects being taught. However hard I tried, I simply was in the bottom half of the class and worse, every one knew that!


The only way i could 'shine' was in extra-curricular activities (debates, drama, etc). So, in areas which required quick thinking, verbal fluency and humour (all natural traits), I excelled. But, I did not really participate in any events which required me to work hard. No, in my head working hard = studying (which I was bad at). So, I stayed away from anything that required effort. But to regain my 'loss' on the academic front, I not only had to excel on this front, but in fact, felt I needed to crush my opponents. So winning was not enough, humiliating the competition was key!

I think this negative competitive streak remain entrenched and has has shaped my life. If I could not immediately excel (read 'be better than the others'), I would shy away from that field. Bottom Line - I chose the routes which came easy and naturally to me where I could be the best (or often the only one) and certainly chose not to make the investment to pursue anything that required significant effort. My choice of Economics in college, Communication for my Masters and the NGO sector for a career are clear examples. Even at work, I have constantly chosen a track where I could NOT be compared to anyone else.






While I will credit myself for 'following my bliss' for most part, there is no denying that a part of me was escaping being compared with others. Yup, there lurks a fear of failure as well.......











One of the flip sides of this approach is that I have never been very good in working with teams. Lead a team? Absolutely! Follow the lead of someone else (who I respect) - Yup, can do that. But, work as part of a team to co-create something - run a mile! 

As I said earlier, there was a piece I read earlier this morning....

"I love the visualisation of standing at the seashore looking out at the vast ocean and knowing that this ocean is the abundance that is available to me. Looking down at your hands and see what sort of container you are holding. Is a teaspoon, a thimble with a hole in it, a paper cup, a glass, a tumbler, a bucket, a wash tub or perhaps you have pipeline connected to this ocean of abundance? 

Look around you and notice that no matter how many people there are and no matter what container they have, there is plenty for everyone. You cannot rob another, and they cannot rob you. And in no way can you drain the ocean dry. Your container is your consciousness, and it can always be exchanged for a larger container. Do this exercise often, to get the feeling of expansion and unlimited supply."

I loved the powerful metaphor about the vast ocean providing unlimited abundance and not to worry about the 'competition.' I hope I can cultivate the discipline to translate this knowledge into actual experience so that this indeed becomes second nature. I am confident that the disciplined practice of integrated yoga will indeed show the way. Am excited by the potential of this transformation! 

Today, I took one small step - Shantanu, my yoga teacher/mentor asks us to visualize doing the Surya Namaskar facing the sun. This morning, I did so with this expanded interpretation. 

If you made this far, Wow!