How can we help S?

Earlier today I got the following message from a young person whom I like and have known now for a few years. Here is the message and my response below….

ORIGINAL MESSAGE FROM S:

“It’s just that, I always seem to have a disturbed mind. As in, I’m not able to be, u know, get relief. It’s always something or other which comes and disturbs and I always go to bed with a heavy heart. And with the same frustration I tend to start my day. I tried to be positive but nothing seems to work. Any possibility on changing my negatives?

MY RESPONSE

Dear S,

First, pat yourself on your back for even being aware of your mood. This awareness and acknowledgement does not come to many, so you should feel good about. Second, pat yourself again….for reaching out and asking for help. Most of us are too afraid to ask – As a wise person said, we have no hesitation going to a Dr when we want help with a physical problem, but we have major hesitations when we have a problem with the mind – SILLY!!!! But all too common.

By the way, I too had this challenge. I was low for 3-4 years……with very similar emotions like what you are facing. This is what worked for me.

First, understand the nature of the mind:

·      Its negative for most of us – We talked about this in the Cosmic Kitchen workshop. So, negative thoughts are quite normal for most of us.

·      It’s important to separate out thoughts from thinking. We may have many thoughts…indeed 50,000/day…but only few stick. So, what sticks? The thoughts we PAY ATTENTION TO and particularly those that we attach emotion too.

So, in your case, observe what these thoughts that stick are….Write them down.

This is part 1. REVIEW AND RECOGNIZE…….

Then it is important to move to the second step – TO RELEASE them. You will recall the way to do it. And then the third step, REFRESH – when you transform these into affirmations. Finally, REPEAT- You will have to practice these affirmations.

Now, some addition suggestions:

1.     At night, just before going to sleep...take a moment and acknowledge these negative thoughts….let them come. Try and observe them. Do you have a mantra you like chanting? Chat it for a few minutes. This really helps me. Then do your affirmations.

2.     In the morning, the first thing, practice the attitude of gratitude that we have spoken about. Do what suits you, but do it regularly….EVERYDAY. For me, it is writing 10 things I am grateful for.

3.     Finally, get physical exercise DAILY! Are you doing this? For me a yoga class + walking for 30 minutes is a MUST. When I don’t do it, I can feel being mentally down. Like today…..So, I am going for evening class since I skipped the morning..

4.     Try Yoga Nidra for 10-12 minutes everyday/3 times a week in the evening after work.

Which of the above are you doing regularly?

Dear S, you have so much goodness within you. Sometimes, this gets covered by the dirt we accumulate. Like having to take a bath everyday, doing these cleansing practices, will indeed help!

I wish I could tell you there is a simple answer. But what I have told you, is what worked for me.

Hope this helps….

Luv and gratitude,

Sanjay

FOLLOW UP RESPONSE FOR S

Thanks Sanjay.

Let me give a time frame on this. I shall get back to you exactly on next Thursday on how exactly the 1 week journey was. I will give it a shot. And, with regards to Yoga, I am going to join a place right next to my house. let me see on how that helps me. 

But I have to tell you this; the pressure which I am going through right can neither be told nor kept inside. I hope god doesn't make any other living being's life like this. But on the contrary, what's a life without problems??

Anyways, Thanks once again. Mainly for talking to me and lending your hand when I am messed up. 

With best regards,