Tillitonse - A Transformational Journey Together

“Something falls away, Sanjay” whispered one of my teachers Sampoorna, a few days in her greetings to me a few days ago on the 25 th anniversary of my 25 th b’day.   Something falls away…..As I read this, I indeed did feel a shift. Did I imagine it? Maybe. But’s a few days later….and Rumi’s quote about the field beyond, where there are no judgments, is becoming increasing alive.   As I work increasingly one on one with people as a transformational coach and have this wonderful opportunity to share their very personal fears and aspirations, their regrets and joys, their barriers and triggers, the profundity of this line is increasingly sinking in.   Ancient philosophies capture this so well too….there are neither wrong or right actions….there are just actions and consequences. It is our labeling that confers moralistic judgments that are all too transient and fickle ! -->

An accountant of the heart' The Loneliest Job in the World by Tony Hoagland As soon as you begin to ask the question, Who loves me?, you are completely screwed, because the next question is How Much?, and then it is hundreds of hours later, and you are still hunched over your flowcharts and abacus, trying to decide if you have gotten enough. This is the loneliest job in the world: to be an accountant of the heart. It is late at night. You are by yourself, and all around you, you can hear the sounds of people moving in and out of love, pushing the turnstiles, putting their coins in the slots, paying the price which is asked, which constantly changes. No one knows why.

“FEELINGS ARE LIKE A RIVER….AND WE TRY TO PUT A RIVER INTO A BOX….’ ….. what a simple and hard hitting line from the book entitled ‘The Lazy Guru.” The author goes further in stating that we expend a lot of energy in keeping these boxes shut. Why? Once again, the old culprit - to look good (both to ourselves and to others). We have been taught that emotions are messy and have no place when intelligent people make decisions. ‘Don’t be emotional’ is the oft-repeated statement. How silly! I have learnt about the functioning of the brain from both a Western clinical perspective and also from Indian Philosophy. It’s very clear that emotions play a huge role in our decision making process. Therefore the question that really resonates with me is – “How can we be smart about harnessing the power of our emotions to help achieve what we want?” and not about negating emotions. My journey this past year as an Emotional Intelligence Coach and Works...

“WHAT’S IN THE WAY, IS THE WAY…” …..said one of my trainers during the one year Coaching for Transformation program that I thoroughly enjoyed in 2016. The profundity and simplicity of this line floored me.   Our growth lies in acknowledging and then tackling the road block…. For instance, I tend to avoid ‘hard’ conversations. While this attitude has undoubtedly helped serve me in many ways over the years, there is no doubt that it has also led to some strong relationship blocks. For instance, when I am upset with what someone close to me has said, rather than clarify/resolve the issue, I would more often than not, just avoid the topic/person for while and hope that the situation would blow over. Unfortunately, there has rarely been a clean and proper resolution,   and hence emotions have tended to linger and fester. Coming to terms with these ‘blocks’ is indeed an important, nay pivotal step in resolution, personal grow...

“I am the Universe – I hold and manage contradictions…..” ….said Syd effortlessly as we went around the room introducing ourselves . The statement caught my attention immediately. You know the feeling right? It’s like liking something even though you are not sure why. As I ‘stayed’ with this line over the year, it’s multi textured layers slowly unfolded. The contradictions I hold and manage became increasingly apparent. Some include: ·       I shudder to pay try Rs. 200 for a flavoured coffee that I like, but am willing to be late in filing my taxes, resulting in a large fine. ·       I like to be able to give honest opinions that maybe be harsh, but certainly want to be handled with care before I am willing to listen to anyone. ·       I respect people who follow their passions, but look down on those who I term ‘irresponsible.’ ·       I want my daugh...

Seven ‘good’ days into the new year has given me the space and perspective to look back at 2016, reflect and assimilate. I guess the word ‘churn’ best epitomizes the year past. Yup. I felt like I was in a mixer for most of the year – sometimes feeling on top of the world, followed by spells of being pulled down into a vortex….the emotional roller coaster never seemed to stop.  Skeletons buried for long surfaced and I found myself grappling with self-criticism, indifference and selfishness while still doing what was ‘right’ and ‘expected’ of me. The tools and the language I had learnt from my journeys within and my coaches played an important role in helping me better understand what I was going through and then subsequently emerge in a significantly more positive frame of mind at the end of the year after integrating these experiences. I guess there were many contributing factors that contributed to the churn. Some of these that I am able to identify include: Get...