EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE SERIES – SELF AWARENESS - “I AM THE UNIVERSE – I HOLD AND MANAGE CONTRADICTIONS…..”
“I am the Universe –
I hold and manage contradictions…..”
….said Syd effortlessly as we went around the room
introducing ourselves . The statement caught my attention immediately. You know
the feeling right? It’s like liking something even though you are not sure why.
As I ‘stayed’ with this line over the year, it’s multi
textured layers slowly unfolded. The contradictions I hold and manage became
increasingly apparent. Some include:
·
I shudder to pay try Rs. 200 for a flavoured
coffee that I like, but am willing to be late in filing my taxes, resulting in
a large fine.
·
I like to be able to give honest opinions that
maybe be harsh, but certainly want to be handled with care before I am willing
to listen to anyone.
·
I respect people who follow their passions, but
look down on those who I term ‘irresponsible.’
·
I want my daughter to live in the moment, but
find myself critiquing her when she does not adequately plan ahead.
·
I want my wife to continue giving me the
independence to follow my dreams (which she does), but sulk if she does not
proactively discuss them with me.
·
I care for my parents but find myself getting
frustrated with engaging and supporting them.
·
I consider being on a spiritual journey (to be a
better/happier me), but find that I have bouts of self-doubt and grumpiness!
To show that I am on top of things (both to myself and to others), I would typically not
acknowledge these contradictions. For a long time, the primary social
conditioning motivated me to hide the ‘negative’ aspects and only present the
‘good’ side.
So, this line and subsequent learning and self-work has
taught me the following – It’s perfectly natural to hold contradictions in our
life. The important point is to be aware of these emotions/thoughts/practices
rather trying to sweep them under the carpet (they never stay there too long!).
Wow, what a line - “I am the Universe – I hold and manage
contradictions.”
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