Tillitonse - A Transformational Journey Together

  WHY MANAGING BOREDOM IS AN IMPORTANT LIFE SKILL I found myself at a bit of a loss though most of September and October. I was BORED!  Had pulled back from work + Was not enjoying the course on Buddhist Psychology + My daughter had left for college in far away NY + The yoga studio was closed + Wife was busy at work = ME BORED!  I distracted myself - travelled, Netflix, reading.... Still, the disquiet continued!  It took me a while to fully own up to my 'addiction to activity.' Sound familiar?  Then I turned within...and started to simply become comfortable with this boredom. How? The first step was just acknowledging it fully. This short 3 minutes video captures why it is important to become comfortably with being bored:  https://lnkd.in/gi572mMg Once I accepted that I was bored, rather than fighting it, I noticed a shift in energy.....Acceptance led to more peace..... I am curious to know how this resonates with you. Your honest response including st...

I wrote this note to the grandchildren of my beloved aunt. I think I wrote this to show them a side of her that they may not know, what made her special to some of us and as a way to connect with them to honour both Meena Pedamma and Kitu Pedanna! Dear Rupa, Anjali, Alka, Vivi, Amar and Priya,   Yesterday, we said our goodbyes to the physical remains of Meena Pedamma, as so many of us fondly referred to her. I flew back from Delhi and missed the larger family gathering in the morning. I was at the crematorium and accompanied Mahesh, Manika and Biju, Vinod and Giri to the beach.   (As I write this, I know I speak for so many of us from Chennai/Madurai with deep love for Meena Pedamma and Kitu Pedanna )   We were at a quiet spot on the beach. A blue sky, clear blue waters, clean sands and the noon Chennai sun out in its full glory created a poignant moment. Mahesh and I entered the waters and then with the ocean behind us, we paused. Straight ahead was the outline of a temp...

 Reflections on Question #5 Six questions…  Each morning, I ask myself six questions   I have been cultivating this daily practice for a few months now   Question #5 is “What am I grasping at?” The daily reflections on each of the answers have helped immediately and brought a sense of lightness.   I felt I could benefit from a deeper dive   So, I set aside some time and looked at the pattern of responses over the past few months   Most interesting   Two themes emerged…   First, the desire to be appreciated and validated by others came through persistently. A cherished mentor of mine (David Reene) used to say – ‘We all walk around with an invisible sign around our necks that says – Make me feel relevant, Make me feel wanted.’ This is indeed true for me. I dug it a little more.   It went deeper   There was a seemingly infinite desire to be appreciated that never seemed to run out. It went beyond appreciation. It was about ‘being liked...

  Recall the scene from Star Wars or from the India folklore of Vikram and Betal - the wise one gently whispering words of wisdom and encouragement to the protagonist!  I have my own whisperer!  She went off a few weeks ago across the oceans.  I was asked - Do you miss her? It got me thinking. What do I miss?  It's the learning.   Yup, with her, I have no defences. No false sense of invulnerability. And so her inputs land well. And when one embodies that openness, there is genuine fertile ground to reflect and grow.  I am to create such an environment as a coach.  But this is deeper. An organic connect. Precious! 

  Flow… Just that. Simple yet continuous…… About 10 years ago, my paths crossed DIvya’s and Shantanu’s. I was going through a period of transition. The old was not yet over and the new was not yet born. It is in these periods that the company of like-minded souls is particularly vital. Divya has always been the gust of fresh air while Shantanu, the rock, that so many of us anchor on to. Over the years, our lives twisted and turned. We started as a teacher and two students. Soon, we formed a bond that was more than that. Over time, their relationship grew as they came together as a couple. For me, its been so wonderful watching and participating from the banks as these two fiercely independent forces of nature straddling contradictions, somehow flowed together seamlessly! So about a month ago, when they asked me to join them to Rishikesh, I immediately said YES! And much to my surprise (and their’s too!), I actually made the trip! And over the past five days, we just flowed, ala th...

  'POOJAK' – Three Insights From a GRAND Celebration   Amar and Swetha, our dear friends for over 30 years, hosted an exquisite and warm wedding celebration for their daughter Pooja. Many have expressed the many aspects of what made this event special. In this piece, I highlight three themes that have left a mark on me. A Dance of Emotions:   A Dance of Emotions: I saw a father give his daughter away in a simple choreographed dance and my mind went instantly to the other Sanjana, my daughter…She had left a week earlier to the US for college and watching this dance, just brought back all the emotions. But the mind did not just stop from going back, it raced into the future, fast-forwarding  to an image of Sanjana and me repeating this dance. And I felt a lump in the throat.   Over the next two days, I had opportunity to observe the dance of emotions for the family members and the rest of us. Weddings provide the ultimate canvass for a riot of colourful emotions –...

It’s been quite a week. No, in fact, it’s been an eventful few weeks. This note captures my journey and insights on four key themes.  I write this note mainly for myself and will share with a few.   My Little Gal Flew Away    Obviously, the most significant happening was dropping Sanjana at the international airport in Mumbai as she boarded a flight to the US to begin college. But I have to go back a few days. On Thursday, five days ago, Sanjana’s closest friends came by. As I walked past her room, I heard them singing…a poignant moment. Music, particularly in a group, captures sentiments that words can never express!   Then, as they said their goodbyes, each of them hugged her. I was walking by and when her closest friend NB hung on for a while, tears rolling down her cheek, I broke too. I quickly moved to another room. My little gal was going away…..I had been carrying this load for a while, and this incident was a catalyst.   Next morning, the day of our...

 

  I FLEW.....THIS WAS MY LIFE..... ....for 12 years between 2008-2019, I flew! I constantly flew to countries on work, and away from working over Skype and emails..... I flew to connect with people, and away from my lonely office at home I flew to do 'real' work, and away from the boring backend stuff I flew to feel alive, and away from the drudgery of mundaneness BUT ALL THAT CHANGED IN 2020 and remarkably, I do not miss flying one bit! Over the past year.... I love being at home and connecting with the world through Zoom I love the quiet time that lockdowns enable I love the time with my 18 year old fully alive that she will leave soon I love studying about the managing the mind from teachers steeped in Buddhism to Neuroscientists across the world I love the stability.... and with this stability, has come a more relaxed and clear mind. Not only have I lost 9 Kgs (20 pounds), but have also shed a destructive emotional trait. Yes, the feet are more firmly planted than ever bef...

  WE ARE THEM Yesterday, I watched a documentary of strangers helping each other after a terrorist attack. I also heard about a young man risking his life to save a stranger! Very moving stories and highly commendable. As someone interested in understanding and managing the mind towards greater peace, I went searching to better understand this behaviour. This insight caught my attention. I encourage you to read it completely. https://theconversation.com/pure-altruism-the-connection-that-explains-why-we-help-strangers-120693 What stood out for me is pasted below: ______ "The question of why human beings are sometimes prepared to risk their own lives to save others has puzzled philosophers and scientists for centuries. There is a sense in which we are part of a shared network of consciousness. It is this which makes it possible for us to identify with other people, to sense their suffering and respond to it with altruistic acts. We can sense other people’s suffering because, in a se...

  THE MAGIC OF SPACE IN YOUR CALENDAR "I have a hard stop in 15 minutes, as I have back to back meetings." Do you find yourself saying this regularly? If so, you may wish to read on.... In my capacity as a leadership coach, one of the most common traits I see is the practice of folks filling out their calendars back to back. Some even allow others to have access to their calendars! ABSOLUTE INSANITY! What a sub-optimal way to work and live. I find myself constantly nudging my clients to create open spaces in their calendars that allow for magic! The magic of... ...giving your innate wisdom space to emerge ...focussing on the important and not the urgent ...personal growth rather than distracted activity Yesterday and today, this magic unfolded for me. I had an open schedule. So, when a busy CFO and a Director of a Hospital called, I was able to devote almost an hour with each of them. These calls were not just personally enriching, but have led them to sign me on as their coa...

  TEARS OF GRATITUDE A few minutes ago I was watching a celebration of this role model of mine. It's 50 years since he made his phenomenal debut. But what brought tears was what he said.... "How can I ever repay my gratitude to the unknown many who supported me when I was down.... ....through letters of support that I would receive.... ...and the only way I could repay them is to do my best in the field" ....this touched a nerve: I have been teaching 'inter-dependence' this past week. And when Sunny said what he did and the eyes moistened up, I too felt such sheer gratitude to the many many across the world who have been there for me...some overtly and many many more in the background whom I am both unaware of and may not acknowledge normally. Ah, the myth of being a self-made person! And how best can I repay the abundance I have been given? To do my best to help folks recognize the diamonds that each one of them is and help them remove the dirt and polish themsel...