Five Significant Days in August - Reflections and Insights

It’s been quite a week. No, in fact, it’s been an eventful few weeks. This note captures my journey and insights on four key themes.  I write this note mainly for myself and will share with a few.

 

My Little Gal Flew Away 

 

Obviously, the most significant happening was dropping Sanjana at the international airport in Mumbai as she boarded a flight to the US to begin college. But I have to go back a few days. On Thursday, five days ago, Sanjana’s closest friends came by. As I walked past her room, I heard them singing…a poignant moment. Music, particularly in a group, captures sentiments that words can never express!

 

Then, as they said their goodbyes, each of them hugged her. I was walking by and when her closest friend NB hung on for a while, tears rolling down her cheek, I broke too. I quickly moved to another room. My little gal was going away…..I had been carrying this load for a while, and this incident was a catalyst.

 

Next morning, the day of our departure to Mumbai, I awoke early. As I got my morning tea organized, I walked around the living and TV rooms. And the tears came cascading again. Imagining home minus her hurt!

 

In Mumbai, we had an enjoyable long lunch with our friends there who have daughters who had grown up with Sanjana when we had lived there. Later that evening, a nice Japanese meal catalyzed by Lata as a ‘celebratory’ dinner for three of us was special. We raised a toast to Sanjana’s future!

 

Then we dropped her off at the airport. Lata was positive and strong. I controlled to hold back until she left, but as I watched her wave back to us and then walk through the doors, the floodgates opened. Lata’s reassuring arm around my shoulders helped. I needed this one final release and support.

 

I am sure I will be revisiting this topic again soon.

 

Surfing the Waves:

 

Over the past few weeks, there were many hurdles to cross. These included the tension associated with getting a visa appointment in time, figuring out a system to pay the college fees in the US, Sanjana’s ticket ‘disappearing’ off the system six days before her departure, our flights getting rescheduled suddenly, names on the COVID test results being mis-spelt and the initial disappointment in our holiday. I noticed that the pattern of how they affected me was similar:

 

First an external shock  trigger response of anger/fear  then over time, an acceptance of the changed reality  responding with equanimity and persistence  resolution  balance regained! As I got used to each of these ‘waves,’ I was better able to surf them rather than be fully engulfed by them. This is clearly a lifelong practice. No short-cuts.

 

Acceptance/Surrender  Expansion  Contentment

 

Lata’s love affair with snorkeling began more than a quarter century ago. We started off the coast of Mozambique and our snorkeling journeys have taken us across three continents. But Maldives has been her favourite by far.

 

We were traveling to Mumbai to drop Sanjana off. To console ourselves and belatedly celebrate our 25^th wedding anniversary, we decided to take the direct flight from there to Male. So, here we were on our seventh trip to the Maldives! Lata will more evocatively describe the beauty of the oceans. In this piece, I am highlighting something else.

 

Why did we come here repeatedly? Very simply, because Lata willed it. Nay, she drove us to come again and again with different members of the family. Yes, I enjoy it immensely as well. Yet, there is no denying that it is her passion that makes it happen each time!

 

Yesterday, as I swam in the magically vibrant waters, a thought struck me – It’s because I accepted her passion and in fact surrendered to it, that this beautiful moment happened. If I had stuck to only what I liked to do, there is a strong likelihood that I would have missed this experience – not once, but repeatedly!

 

Clearly honouring her passion had, in fact, expanded my horizon. As I realized this, a wave of contentment washed over me. I smiled. I looked to the left – the vast deep blue of the ocean was soothing!

 

An important insight – moving away from the short-sighted likes/dislikes of the SELF and being open to journeying with significant others can indeed be enrichening!

 

Beyond the Red Shiny Objects

 

The ocean is rich – teeming with colourful and exotic creatures. We came close to Sting Rays and Sharks that left us shaken and stirred and found ourselves repeatedly enthralled being surrounded by rainbows of fish. Yet, I noticed that what held my attention this time around were not the discrete life forms, but the sheer expanse of blue. While our guide pointed to exotic creatures, I found myself, feeling no pull. Instead, just staring into the deep blue brought tranquility. Rather than what the ocean presented at that moment, what drew me was the ocean itself. More than the thrill of a shark swimming close by, the immersive experience of being under water was deeply fulfilling. And that was priceless!

 

I am not sure what this means. Maybe nothing. But I sense it does. I will wait for any insight to emerge (if at all).

 

And so this brings me to the end of this narrative. I enjoyed putting these thoughts down. If you made it all the way here, it feels good to have you as a fellow traveler.