Just capturing my state of mind and sharing with a few of you who matter.
The first six weeks of this year has been tinged with sadness. A cloud has remained since the start of the year… actually seems like quite a few clouds of ill health and mortality. I wish I could shake it off with one powerful shrug.
The year began with COVID getting to Lata finally. Fortunately, it was a relatively mild attack. Hence, New Year’s Eve was devoid of the usual mirth as it was quietly spent at home.
Then as the first week ended, the first anniversary of my father’s passing started to loom large. Not just for me…but my mother and other members of the family as well. We experienced a volcano of expressions. Last year, on Jan 14, 2022 we had had the last family gathering before my father tested positive for COVID the next day. He passed away on Jan 28, 2022. So, this pervasive cloud hung around until that date.
Quite naturally, I was in no mood to celebrate my birthday on Jan 19.
Then on Jan 29, my mother had the first of three minor ischemic attacks where she became disoriented and weak. Sridhar was away that week and as the primary care giver, it fell upon me to rush her twice in an ambulance to the hospital. She was there for three nights over five days.
Very fortunately, mom had no damage to any functions. She is certainly weaker. Further, she is experiencing and communicating the sorrow of losing her life partner for 72 years more so in the last week than ever before. Something had shifted within her during this recent illness. And her new fragility gives me further concern.
My dear friend Arjun lost his mother after a major surgery on Jan 30. I am close to many members of the family and have known ‘Manjuma’ for 40 years. I would see her once or twice every week at least, particularly over the past few years.
So, one more dark cloud.
Wisdom tells me that the clouds will pass. I realize I have not laughed heartily for so long. I miss that.
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