Our brains love a “because.”





Last week, I had one of those moments that reminded me that persistence with a sprinkle of psychology can go a long way. 

Picture this: I’m on holiday with family and friends. Our last night. Spirits high, bellies ready for one last glorious meal. I call to make a reservation at a restaurant we’d enjoyed earlier in the trip. The verdict? Sorry sir, fully booked. So, naturally, I do what any self-respecting person in my shoes would do: try to nudge someone higher up the food chain (pun intended). Still no luck. “Sorry sir, full.”

 Finally, I took a deep breath, put pen to paper (okay, fingers to keyboard), and wrote in: We’d had a wonderful holiday so far. This was our very last evening. We’d eaten at their restaurant two nights earlier and loved it. It would make the difference between a “good holiday” and a “great holiday.” 

And guess what? Voila! A table magically appeared. 

Which brings me to a fun bit of research. Back in 1978, a group of psychologists (Langer, Blank & Chanowitz) ran what’s now known as the “Xerox machine study.” They found that people were far more likely to let you cut in line if you added a “why”—even if the reason was completely trivial (“May I use the Xerox machine because I need to make copies?”). Compliance jumped from about 60% to over 90%. 

So, it seems the magic isn’t just in the request, but in the reason you attach to it. 

Our brains love a “because.” 

Other researchers since then have confirmed the same thing: whether it’s asking for help, borrowing a few minutes of time, or—apparently—snagging a dinner table, a “why” makes the difference. 👉 Is there something you’d like to get done this week? Try adding a “why” to your request. It doesn’t have to be dramatic; it just has to give the other person a reason to say yes.  

I’d love to hear your stories. Have you ever gotten a “yes” just by adding a why? Or if you try this out in the next few days, let me know how it works. I’ll be cheering you on—probably while enjoying leftovers from that hard-won reservation!
Mindfully, 
Sanjay

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