MY MIND IS FROZEN ABOUT PEOPLE!






A few months ago I completed a psychometric assessment that included people giving feedback about me. One particular feedback struck a chord – “Sanjay tends to quickly create an image of a person and then does not change it over the years even though the person might have changed.”

My first reaction was one that came from a self-preservation mindset….but then it slowly sank in. Could this be true? I just let it lie until now….Over the past few weeks, as I have has more of a chance to observe myself (and others), I realized this was indeed the case.

The image of people created either early in life or strong negative reactions upon the first few meetings with anyone seem to have created dvery strong images. Not surprisingly, given the nature of the mind, these images are mainly negative. For instance, there is a particular person who most of those close to me did not like much. Lets call this person Rao. Now Rao in the 1980s exhibited a miserly trait on quite a few occasions. So, the image not just got stuck, but picked up additional negative layers over the years: 

Rao=miser=always out to get something from you=to be avoided.

You can see how easily this plays out. Over the years, Rao has indeed changed. Recently when we needed some help, Rao was the only one who proactively offered and delivered on the help required. But still, when Rao’s name came up around me, the image of the past still dominated. Even acknowledgement of Rao’s help was made grudgingly.


So, another step today – to review the images in my head and revisit them. Mental defrosting is indeed needed!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Importance of Rekindling Play – 5 Days in Bir, June 2024

Image
  The Importance of Rekindling Play – 5 Days in Bir, June 2024 Feeling overwhelmed and stressed? Sometimes, taking a step back to rekindle play and patience can be transformative. Over the past week, I attended a program called “A Primer on Patience” at the Deer Park Institute in Bir, Himachal Pradesh, India. This program, based on Buddhist psychology, offered a ‘light-touch’ approach to imparting deep-rooted wisdom in an interactive and enjoyable manner accessible to everyone. I had previously studied under the lead trainer, Nivedita, and her down-to-earth and practical style of imparting wisdom resonated deeply with me. More importantly, Nivedita embodies humility and warmth, making the experience even more enriching. Here are five key insights and takeaways from my time there: 1. I Felt Free and Energized! I had forgotten how much I love sharing space with like-minded individuals in a fun learning and authentic sharing environment. We learned, we shared, we drew, we laughed, and...
Read more

We Are All on 'Standby'....

Image
We Are All On 'Standby'.... In the past few days, three poignant experiences wove themselves into a single narrative that felt too significant not to share. The first is something we all experience this time of year: the turning of the calendar . One year ends, and another begins. It’s a natural time to reflect, reset, and reimagine what’s ahead. The second was attending a memorial service for a young man who tragically passed away. It was a moving tribute, but also a stark reminder of life’s unpredictability. As I sat there, a friend shared about their elderly parent, deeply suffering, and said, “I wish they would find peace and move on.” The contrast was striking: here was a young man, full of life and promise, gone too soon, while another life lingered on amidst suffering. The third came from my own home. My daughter is preparing to leave for the U.S. on a standby ticket, arranged through her cousin. When people asked, “When are you leaving?” she replied, “Maybe today,” be...
Read more

"I have no intention of dying before my death" - Lessons from a Centurion

Image
  Living Fully and Leading with Intention "I have no intention of dying before my death." This powerful declaration set the tone for an inspiring morning, offering valuable insights for today’s leaders. We gathered in a sunlit, glass-enclosed room—a perfect setting for a Sunday filled with meaningful conversations and deep reflections. The atmosphere was warm, the coffee was perfect, but the true highlight of the morning was a discussion with a centenarian who had recently celebrated his 100th birthday. For the next hour, we were guided through a fascinating conversation about life lessons and their relevance in today’s fast-paced, ever-changing world. This centenarian’s wisdom was profound, and as leaders, we were reminded that leadership is as much about character and wisdom as it is about strategy and execution. Here are some key lessons that stood out, offering valuable guidance for leaders at every stage: "I have no intention of dying before my death." This sta...
Read more