Put on the oxygen mask on ourselves first!






“My work environment is toxic".... 

… was among the first things that Sam said (name changed) in our coaching call a few weeks ago. Sam is a senior leader in a multinational firm. His energy was low and the fact that he did not wish to use the skype video option (which we typically do) was a powerful indicator of his state of mind.

Sam went on describe how his senior colleagues constantly only looked to serve themselves and protect their turf. Sam felt isolated, powerless and was seriously thinking of turning in his papers without a firm Option B in mind.

In our chat, we dived right into this personal ‘pain.’ Rather than typical conversation where one tries to ignore or distract what is bothering us, the compassionate coaching space created a rare opportunity to look distress and pain right in the eye and look within.  As Rumi beautifully put it - “The wound is the place where the light enters you.” There was an ever so small shift that I could sense when we ended the call and agreed upon next steps.

But WOW, was I not prepared for our next call a week later!!!! Even in the “Hello There” that Sam uttered at the start of the call, there was a perceptible change in energy. Sam’s voice was buoyant and I brought this to his attention. Sam immediately latched on and said how the past week had been amazingly transformational. Upon enquiry he clarified that he had spent some time doing three things that led to his ‘perestroika.’

1.    He gave himself some space and re-connected with old friends and felt nurtured.
2.   He took on and completed a few outstanding tasks. These small wins made him perk up and cleared the cobwebs of uncertainty.
3.   He spent some time reflecting about what was truly important for him….

The rest of our conversation focused on his magnificent team and what steps he needed to take in order to continue making them feel inspired, make them feel energized, lifted and excited! Quite clearly, the energy had shifted from competition (survival) to contribution.


Yup, one indeed needs to put on the oxygen mask on ourselves first before we are ready to be of help to others….Ah, the first step is just to become aware that one needs on-going self-care and then making the time for it. The seduction of busyness is all to alluring…

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