CHIPPING AWAY AT THE RIGID SENSE OF SELF





CHIPPING AWAY AT THE RIGID SENSE OF SELF 

The Buddhist ‘Riponche’ spoke softly…. and a sense of calm descended on the fifty of us who had gathered for the five week teacher certification at a monastery in rural Switzerland.

He happened to be visiting the monastery and our trainer, Dr. Eve Ekman, requested him to interact with us – to begin this program.

He spoke about the ‘view’

“The way we view ourselves and others shapes how both our individual sense of being and how we interact with the world….

The more rigid the sense of individual self, the greater the likelihood for us to experience a divide between us and others.”

This got me!

Upon reflection, the following emerged…..

The strong drive to be someone different, to cultivate skills and communicate a strong sense of identity (unique from others) has indeed served me well. An inner confidence, a successful career, enjoyable work and many other benefits have accrued.

But with this has come a rigidity – a fixed and narrow band within which people had to fall into for me to feel like I could connect with them. A few well-wishers like my dear friend Raghu and Lata had pointed this out to me. And while it jarred, I simply did not give it adequate  ‘space’ to acknowledge and accept this. Yup, it rung true.

As I looked further within and explored the literature, it was clear that the projections we create about our sense of self and others do indeed become rigid the older we get. And this happens without us knowing!

The way ahead….

Becoming aware and acknowledging this are two important steps. Then through the practices of cultivating more compassion as beautifully explained in Indo-Tibetan contemplative traditions, one can indeed slowly but surely start dismantling these projections. Began these practices two months ago. I feel good that my dislike of one particular individual has diminished considerably and I able to see this person’s actions with increased objectivity and compassion.

Let the chipping continue….

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