Tillitonse - A Transformational Journey Together

"HELLO, I AM SINGING AWAY THE BLUES" My 87 year old Aunt Meena taught me an important lesson in restricting negativity…. I am sure you have noticed that as we grow older, a lot of our conversations tend to focus on complaints….about other people, medical conditions, business conditions, and other pin pricks that our daily life is full off. I don’t know about you, but I often find myself avoiding these people. But Aunt Meena has always been an exception. Even at this ripe old age, with her body failing her on multiple fronts, one hardly ever hears her complaining. But what blew my mind is what she does when other start complaining. SHE SINGS Yup, that’s what she has started doing. The phone is her primary means of communication these days. She told me that sometimes people call her …and after enquiring about her for the first few minutes, they often launch into laments about their own lives. She is clear that does not wish to engage her mind with...

Cultivating Genuine Happiness - 5 Lessons Learnt We all want to be happy and minimize suffering. Here are five key lessons I have learnt about sustained happiness based on my formal learnings from the East and the West, personal reflection and engaging deeply with people across three continents as a transformational coach. (The names of the persons have been changed to maintain their privacy). 1. Each of us are whole and are simultaneously moving towards a full expression of wholeness. Maya is a talented, smart and an empathetic senior professional. During a coaching session she spelt out how unappreciated she felt at work and was particularly frustrated that her important role in jumping in to support others was simply not being seen. As we unpeeled the layers of the onion, an important insight emerged - that she too was not adequately acknowledging, let alone appreciating, her own contribution.  All too often, the clouds do indeed cover t...

"A VEGGIE SANDWICH AT BURGER KING?" I was hurt and self esteem was low... ...but in an instance, I felt the warm glow and was hooked!!! I had barely managed to complete a Master's in quantitative economics from Tufts University in Boston. The academic torture that I experienced there made the winters in Boston seem very balmy. I found my way to the Annenberg School for Communication, USC to explore a second masters. My main draw to this institution is what I had read about a certain Everett Rogers. I made an appointment to see him around noon. I walked in and was greeted with a warm smile. "Have you had lunch?". Before I could reply, I found myself almost running behind this man who was at least 30 years my senior. We entered a Burger King and he went on to order two 'veggie' burgers (aka skip the patty and add an extra layer of cheese to the tomatoes and lettuce). And then he turned his big eyes and just focussed on m...

A HIGH VOLTAGE SHOCK THAT BLEW OUR HAIR AWAY..... I felt like I am a 20 watt bulb being exposed to a 2000 watt power source....... The last two days have indeed been something..... An immersion into very practical ways we can lead more fulfilling and happier lives based on Indo Tibetan philosophies and practices. Here is one powerful shock wave we explored - How nothing really exists free from subjective perception..... Or in other words, in our dreams, things seem real but are not true because they are simply mental projections. Similarly, in 'real life' anything/anybody we encounter does not exist separate from our encountering them. So, we if can change our perception, we can alter what we experience. I finally understood REALITY = PERCEPTION. and this was just the start...... You can see why our hair was blown away!

A few weeks ago, I started playing this racket sport after many years. The strokes were rusty and the movements lethargic. We both seemed to be at the same level and the focus was long rallies where we were both focussed on SUPPORTING each other keeping the shuttle in play. But after a few minutes, the coordination improved...and the desire to COMPETE kicked in for me. No longer was I satisfied in  rallying, the focus shifted on WINNING each point. Ah, very soon I was tired.....and so was my partner. For he too had moved into the aggressive mode reflecting my energies. As I paused to catch a breath, the following insights emerged: 1. As long as we were supporting each other, we were able to play longer....but as soon as the spirit of competition kicked in, the camaraderie disappeared and we were both burnt out. I started to think about parallels in relationships between partners or colleagues at work..... 2. There was no doubt that the high of a point bei...

Yesterday I made a quick trip out of town. I stayed over at a friends place. This morning he kindly offered me his shoes, a T shirt and a pair of shorts as we set of a lovely brisk walk enjoying the slight nip in the air. During the walk, the laces of this shoe came undone a couple of times. My friend was profusely apologetic and irritated - "That's the problem with these shoes...the laces are SO BAD." He said this about four times.....and then I gently pointed out the following - that I was so grateful that there was a pair of shoes that fit me well.... that allowed us to go on this walk. Sometimes, maybe all too often, what matters is not what happened, but the stories we tell ourselves (and others) about how we are impacted by what happened. Today, I was grateful that I was able to tell the more constructive story... 

WHERE DOES THE GIVING STOP AND RECEIVING BEGIN? ....As I flew out of Yangon, Myanmar, this question quietly whispered to me as a sense of peace matched the calm skies..... As a coach I give my presence and the wonderful people like Mathew Tiedermann and many others at PACT Myanmar give so much more to me....their openness, courage, dreams, concerns and above all trust!  What a wonderful way to meet my need for meaningful and authentic connection. GRATITUDE!