Tillitonse - A Transformational Journey Together

About 18 months ago, against the gentle breeze of Indian Ocean, I met Scott Wallace in Zanzibar! We were together at a meeting of the East and Southern Africa Regions of PSI. Am not sure how it began, but soon we were having a great chat about his life and times with PSI and beyond. It was clear to me that Scott was one of the many wonderful folks at an early stage of his career with PSI who brought a wonderful combination of passion, humility and smarts to the table - a great combo for any organization. It was indeed wonderful to connect with this fine young man. Little did I know that this chat would only be the start..... A few weeks ago, he connected and we had a wonderful conversation. We ended saying that it would be great to remain in touch. And last week, it was awesome to spend time with him and his colleagues in Washington DC over two days on a workshop aimed at pausing, reflecting and reigniting! This was a reminder once again, how one little action taken in far...

"Terra Firma, Gents, this is it..." said Kyle in his grounded way as he walked in......and yup, and in that instant, the awesome camaraderie that has shaped us for over twenty years. was 'alive.' Our paths crossed at the PSI offices in Washington DC in the early 90s when we joined the organization months from each other. We were young, eager, ambitious, passionate about wanting to make the world a better place for the poor and vulnerable (or  simply to make a dent in the universe'), willing to work our butts off doing serious work in hard places....all that without taking ourselves too seriously. Yup, that was indeed the culture we inherited, lived and passed on. Andrew went off to Central African Republic, Kyle to Rwanda and Zambia is where I landed. We continued to meet ever so often and then when I moved to Zimbabwe, I hit pay dirt. These two fine gents were my supervisors...but they were a lot more....we got to know and hang out with our families an...

One of the most profound lessons I recently learnt is to incorporate mourning into my daily life! Sounds strange doesn't it? Well it did for me too! As I looked at the agenda for the first day of the nine day Intensive International Training on Non-Violent Communications (www.cnvc.org), I was struck by the 'Mourning' section at the end of each day. In all the numerous gatherings I have attended across the world, this was indeed a new one! The session was entitled something like "Harvesting- Mourning and Celebrations." So, when we gathered around, each person started talking about what they celebrated for the day. Ah, I quickly figured, this I know..... But then, the lead facilitator Kirsten Kristensen asked us to pause. She said she would like to see that this space was used equally for 'mournings.' And then it started...one person started and another followed....The mourning was about our needs that had not been met during the day. It was reco...

“I can’t connect with you” she said. And then repeated it barely a few hours later! For those of you who know me, I cherish personal connections, so you can imagine my shock! Yet another powerful lesson learnt from the nine day intensive program on Non-Violent Communication that I learnt is how fragile indeed my ego is. The above statement was made by someone I hardly knew. In fact, I must confess that there were many triggers that were pushed when I came across this person even before she made these statements. Then, why the heck was I shocked? Why did it bother me so? The nine-day program helped me ‘stay’ with this feeling, rather than quickly make meaning as the mind tends to do. And little by little, as I went deeper, the inherent needs that were not being met emerged. Yup, the need to be liked by all – even by someone I might not care for too much. Therein lay the deeper lesson learnt – Every thing that we do is driven to meet a need. And once we can actually ...

Imagine the boy in the picture feeding the birds. Look at his expression. Is he giving or actually receiving? This was a wonderful lesson I was reminded of during the intensive none day residential program on Non Violent Communication that I have just emerged from! A few years ago, in the Rikhia Ashram of the Bihar School of Yoga, some of us were gently admonished for fooling around when we were packing a 'goody bag' to be distributed to the impoverished villagers. We were reminded that we are to participate in this exercise with joy and an immense sense of receiving, rather than seeing ourselves as the 'giver.' So, to be reminded of this wonderful insight last week was wonderful. Truly, when we are in the 'flow,' there is no distinction between being the giver or the receiver. We simply just flow!  An in that flow lies our joy - not momentary happiness, but a deep sense of bliss. The few times I have been touched by this sensation have been phenom...

An amazing lesson learnt from the recent intensive training on Non-Violent Communication is that one can indeed balance empathy for ourselves and for others so harmoniously. I am already seeing the benefits in my interactions with people and am looking to this journey continuing. The words we use (self-expression) are built on a foundation of empathy. Gaining increased mastery on self empathy and for others is a fascinating journey that I am on. Immense gratitude flows through me. I find myself singing and even dancing (minus the Vodka), and that is always a good sign! I have learnt. Now to live these practices and then to start sharing! WOW!!! 

The last few years have indeed been a deep dive within - and the last 10 days has been a very important signpost in this journey. Just completed a 10 day residential program on Non-Violent Communication. My head is shaken and my heart certainly stirred. The simple yet powerful practices combined with the deep connection with a few very special people fill me immense joy combined with sadness (of not being with them). But this wonderful combination is indeed beautiful. The sheer authenticity of this vulnerable moment is special. Yep, in the next few days, I hope to unravel this wonderful gift. For now, this Lesson #1 in something that I am indeed staying with.... RUMI - THERE IS A FIELD  Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I’ll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass the world is too full to talk about.