Tillitonse - A Transformational Journey Together

We Are All On 'Standby'.... In the past few days, three poignant experiences wove themselves into a single narrative that felt too significant not to share. The first is something we all experience this time of year: the turning of the calendar . One year ends, and another begins. It’s a natural time to reflect, reset, and reimagine what’s ahead. The second was attending a memorial service for a young man who tragically passed away. It was a moving tribute, but also a stark reminder of life’s unpredictability. As I sat there, a friend shared about their elderly parent, deeply suffering, and said, “I wish they would find peace and move on.” The contrast was striking: here was a young man, full of life and promise, gone too soon, while another life lingered on amidst suffering. The third came from my own home. My daughter is preparing to leave for the U.S. on a standby ticket, arranged through her cousin. When people asked, “When are you leaving?” she replied, “Maybe today,” be...

Hello There,  As we navigate our personal and professional journeys, we often encounter moments that challenge our perspectives. I wanted to share a reflective insight sparked by my recent experiences. My Experience: The Criticism vs. Praise Dynamic During a recent presentation, I received both praise and criticism. Although I was applauded for my content, a remark about exceeding the time limit said aggressively by a peer stuck with me deeper and longer than it should have. And the feedback was very valid. It was a classic example of how we often emphasize criticism more than praise, a universal challenge among many of us. This left me contemplating, as certain parts of me were at odds with one another. On one hand, there was a part craving validation from the positive feedback, seeking the comfort of appreciation. On the other hand, another part harped on the critique, striving for perfection and viewing any deviation as a glaring oversight. This internal tug-of-war made me reali...

  Living Fully and Leading with Intention "I have no intention of dying before my death." This powerful declaration set the tone for an inspiring morning, offering valuable insights for today’s leaders. We gathered in a sunlit, glass-enclosed room—a perfect setting for a Sunday filled with meaningful conversations and deep reflections. The atmosphere was warm, the coffee was perfect, but the true highlight of the morning was a discussion with a centenarian who had recently celebrated his 100th birthday. For the next hour, we were guided through a fascinating conversation about life lessons and their relevance in today’s fast-paced, ever-changing world. This centenarian’s wisdom was profound, and as leaders, we were reminded that leadership is as much about character and wisdom as it is about strategy and execution. Here are some key lessons that stood out, offering valuable guidance for leaders at every stage: "I have no intention of dying before my death." This sta...

The Power of HALT: A Simple Tool for Emotional Balance Last week, I shared insights on the importance of trusting your gut instincts as a leader. If you missed it, you can catch up here .  This week, I’m excited to dive into a related topic: The Power of H.A.L.T. Imagine this: I woke up on the last day of a blissful vacation with my extended family, only to realize I'd slept for just three hours. As you can guess, I was a bit groggy and out of sorts. During breakfast, I noticed my mood was off and felt an unusual irritability creeping in. I even caught myself speaking in a rather sharp tone. That's when I remembered HALT! ✋ For those who might not be familiar, HALT is an acronym that stands for: Hungry Angry Lonely Tired These are common emotional triggers that can throw us off balance. Often, it's a mix of these elements at play. Let me walk you through how I applied this simple yet powerful concept: Acknowledge the Feeling : I recognized that something was off during brea...

  🌟 Trust Your Instincts as a Leader 🌟 In our journey as leaders, listening to our instincts is crucial. One of my long-time clients, Sam (name changed), recently shared a valuable lesson: "Don't ignore your gut feeling." Here's the story: Sam was assembling a team of eight leaders, each responsible for a different vertical. One key vertical was a legacy initiative crucial to the organization. Playing it safe, Sam chose Alex, a well-qualified candidate, despite sensing their lack of interest during their initial conversation. He even enlisted a senior colleague to persuade Alex. Reluctantly, Alex accepted. However, once the project started, Alex's disinterest was evident. They avoided taking charge, expecting Sam to handle the initiative. Despite recognizing this, Sam continued to rationalize his choice, both to himself and others. Frequent nudges to Alex yielded no improvement. Even when his supervisor advised removing Alex from the role, Sam hesitated to make ...

  The Importance of Rekindling Play – 5 Days in Bir, June 2024 Feeling overwhelmed and stressed? Sometimes, taking a step back to rekindle play and patience can be transformative. Over the past week, I attended a program called “A Primer on Patience” at the Deer Park Institute in Bir, Himachal Pradesh, India. This program, based on Buddhist psychology, offered a ‘light-touch’ approach to imparting deep-rooted wisdom in an interactive and enjoyable manner accessible to everyone. I had previously studied under the lead trainer, Nivedita, and her down-to-earth and practical style of imparting wisdom resonated deeply with me. More importantly, Nivedita embodies humility and warmth, making the experience even more enriching. Here are five key insights and takeaways from my time there: 1. I Felt Free and Energized! I had forgotten how much I love sharing space with like-minded individuals in a fun learning and authentic sharing environment. We learned, we shared, we drew, we laughed, and...

'Judging someone is a sign of laziness"  About eight years ago, in a coach training program, I came across this insight that has stayed. In this email, I am highlighting the benefit of going a little deeper. When we don't like what someone has said/done, a mental switch almost always goes off - "...this is wrong, instead they should be doing it this (my) way."  Indeed, the mind very quickly moves from "I don't like it" to "This is wrong ." Once this door is opened,  then the mind moves even faster to a solution mode. And what is that? More often than not, it's a solution that appeals to oneself - they  should be doing it this (my) way. Sound familiar?  And by following this path, there is immediately a wall that comes up between us and them. This, in turn, leads to a break in connection. So, what's the antidote?  be curious! Maybe the most insightful practice that I gained in my training as a coach, is to move from Judgement t...

"BE LIKE WOOD"  What Happened I lost my cool once in January and once again in February. It not only left others disturbed, but certainly shook me up too. I am writing this post to better understand what happened towards becoming more balanced and skilful in my response in the future. Also will be sharing with a few folks interested in cultivating emotional balance.  The first incident happened on my birthday. And the second smaller outburst (and less destructive) a few minutes before a public event where I was the co-MC.  What I Felt In both instances to significantly varying levels, I first felt anger.....guilt followed along with sadness/fear for jeopardizing relationships and 'shame' for a loss of face.  Immediate Analysis:   Upon reflection, there were some common themes:  I had blown up these events in my head to be bigger than what they actually were. In other words, I had needlessly and sub-consciously built up these events to be 'critical.' This in...